Jamey Rodemeyer
Softly spoken and inoffensive, fourteen year old Jamey was a massive Lady Gaga fan. He had been struggling with his sexuality for a while, unsure whether he was gay, straight or bisexual. For most people. sexual identity is a natural progression that develops without question, but for some LGBT teens it can be a confusing time. Hormones are on overdrive, and with the onset of puberty, emotions are up and down on a daily basis.
Accepting that you're different can be a hard pill to swallow, especially when you're being bullied for the very thing that you think you may be.
Jamey endured relentless bullying every day at school. He was ostracized, ridiculed and made to feel worthless. Miraculously, with the support of friends and family, Jamey was able to come to terms with his sexual orientation, and after "coming out," friends say that he seemed to become a little stronger. Unfortunately, the bullying escalated.
He blogged openly about his struggle with his sexuality and often spoke about being bullied. Unfortunately, those who bullied him in school began to bully him online, posting homophobic comments on his blog.
Accepting that you're different can be a hard pill to swallow, especially when you're being bullied for the very thing that you think you may be.
Jamey endured relentless bullying every day at school. He was ostracized, ridiculed and made to feel worthless. Miraculously, with the support of friends and family, Jamey was able to come to terms with his sexual orientation, and after "coming out," friends say that he seemed to become a little stronger. Unfortunately, the bullying escalated.
He blogged openly about his struggle with his sexuality and often spoke about being bullied. Unfortunately, those who bullied him in school began to bully him online, posting homophobic comments on his blog.
"Jamey is stupid, gay, fat and ugly. He must die" - Anonymous post on Jamey's blog
"I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it. It would make everyone way more happier." - Anonymous post on Jamey's blog
The very place where Jamey felt able to talk about his feelings and what was happening in his life was now a vessel for his bullies to spew their homophobic insults. He felt alone, like no one would listen. He tried asking for help and felt that officials at his school were ignoring his cries for help. Even Jamey's friends say they reported the bullying to school guidance counselors. As time passed and the bullying continued, Jamey's blog posts took on a decidedly darker tone.
"I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do so people will listen to me? No one in my school cares about preventing suicide, while you're the ones calling me FA**OT and tearing me down," - Jamey's status update on Facebook.
There appeared to be no end to the bullying. Jamey closed his blog site and would later admit that creating it and speaking so frankly on it was something he regretted doing because it made his situation worse. Despite having to deal with the daily onslaught of abuse at school, Jamey did appear to be coping a little better as time went on. He became more confident, found strength from those who supported him and ultimately decided to make an "It Gets Better" video which he posted on YouTube.
In it, he spoke about the struggle he had with his sexuality and the bullying he endured and reassured other LGBT teens that it really does get better and that life improves as you get older and find the appropriate support network. Sadly for Jamie, it didn't get better. In fact, it must have gotten worse - Bad enough that on September 18th 2011, Jamey ended his life by hanging himself in the back yard of his family home. His body was discovered by his sister.
As with so many instances of teen suicide that is linked to bullying, people assume that there must be a defining moment, an event that spearheads the decision to commit suicide. This isn't true. In most cases, the decision to commit suicide is based almost exclusively on an accumulation of events that build and build, that ultimately consume any sense of hope. Jamey endured all he could and simply reached the point where he couldn't take any more.
More than 500 people attended Jamey's funeral. Complete strangers were among the mourners who turned out to support the Rodemeyer family. Students from Jamey's school drove past the church in trucks and buses covered with signs showing messages of tolerance. A few hours after the ceremony, Lady Gaga, Jamey's idol, spoke of him and his plight during one of her concerts. She dedicated a song to his memory.
In it, he spoke about the struggle he had with his sexuality and the bullying he endured and reassured other LGBT teens that it really does get better and that life improves as you get older and find the appropriate support network. Sadly for Jamie, it didn't get better. In fact, it must have gotten worse - Bad enough that on September 18th 2011, Jamey ended his life by hanging himself in the back yard of his family home. His body was discovered by his sister.
As with so many instances of teen suicide that is linked to bullying, people assume that there must be a defining moment, an event that spearheads the decision to commit suicide. This isn't true. In most cases, the decision to commit suicide is based almost exclusively on an accumulation of events that build and build, that ultimately consume any sense of hope. Jamey endured all he could and simply reached the point where he couldn't take any more.
More than 500 people attended Jamey's funeral. Complete strangers were among the mourners who turned out to support the Rodemeyer family. Students from Jamey's school drove past the church in trucks and buses covered with signs showing messages of tolerance. A few hours after the ceremony, Lady Gaga, Jamey's idol, spoke of him and his plight during one of her concerts. She dedicated a song to his memory.
"He touched so many hearts, so many people. I didn't realize how many people he touched. He was the sweetest, kindest kid you'd ever know. He would give all his heart to you before he gave any to himself." - Tracy Rodemeyer, Jamey's Mother
"I just wanted to take a moment because we lost a little monster this week. Jamey, I know you're looking down on us and you're not a victim, you're a lesson to all of us." - Lady Gaga
Jamey's death received worldwide media attention and shone a spotlight, not only on anti gay bullying cases in schools, but also on the perils of cyber-bullying. Celebrities spoke frankly about Bullying laws and called for a change in policy that would make LGBT students feel safe in their schools. With everything that had happened to Jamey, it's not unreasonable to think that his school would be among the first to make a stand against homophobic bullying. A homecoming school dance shortly after Jamey's death would prove otherwise.
Jamey's sister attended the dance with her friends and those of Jamey. In her own words, she wanted to try to lift their spirits and for a few hours, stop being sad. She wanted to imagine her brother there beside her, dancing, laughing, having fun. It seemed to work. When a Lady Gaga song was played, Jamey's sister and his friends started chanting his name. It was an uplifting experience for the youngsters, until the the bullies who had tormented Jamey for months on end started their own, much louder chant....
Jamey's sister attended the dance with her friends and those of Jamey. In her own words, she wanted to try to lift their spirits and for a few hours, stop being sad. She wanted to imagine her brother there beside her, dancing, laughing, having fun. It seemed to work. When a Lady Gaga song was played, Jamey's sister and his friends started chanting his name. It was an uplifting experience for the youngsters, until the the bullies who had tormented Jamey for months on end started their own, much louder chant....
"You’re better off dead. We’re glad you’re dead!" - Chants from the bullies who had tormented Jamey for months.
The teens were obviously in a state of shock. The very bullies who had undoubtedly contributed to Jamey's death were continuing to abuse him after his death. School officials were called to the scene, but the bullies fled. Despite the fact that they were all known to the youngsters, nothing seems to have been done about their disgraceful behavior.
And so another boy is dead, driven to suicide by the callous and heinous acts of homophobic bullies. A family is left heartbroken, a community in shock and those responsible for it showing nothing but contempt for the boy they tormented into silence.
And so another boy is dead, driven to suicide by the callous and heinous acts of homophobic bullies. A family is left heartbroken, a community in shock and those responsible for it showing nothing but contempt for the boy they tormented into silence.
'I can’t grasp it in my mind. I don’t know why anyone would do that. They have no heart, that’s basically what it comes down to." - Tim Rodemeyer, Jamey's Father