Cody Barker
Seventeen year old Cody was a typical all American boy with an outgoing personality. He had lots of friends, had the support of his family when he told them he was gay, sang in a choir and planned to start a gay/straight alliance at his school. Described as a passionate activist for all students, especially those targeted or ostracized for their sexual orientation or their gender identity and expression, Cody was a hands-on anti bullying advocate and often put the feelings of others before his own. Cody really cared about making schools a safe place for students. That wasn’t always his own experience with school.
Described as an “extremely selfless” young man who enjoyed spending time with his friends, tending his rose plants, biking and reading, Cody's suicide stunned the local community. Cody hanged himself in the barn on his family's farm. His Mother, Darla, discovered his lifeless body.
His family couldn't begin to fathom why Cody would want to end his life. He showed no obvious signs that he was depressed or that something was wrong. He was a happy, content young man with the world at his feet.
Described as an “extremely selfless” young man who enjoyed spending time with his friends, tending his rose plants, biking and reading, Cody's suicide stunned the local community. Cody hanged himself in the barn on his family's farm. His Mother, Darla, discovered his lifeless body.
His family couldn't begin to fathom why Cody would want to end his life. He showed no obvious signs that he was depressed or that something was wrong. He was a happy, content young man with the world at his feet.
“He was involved. He could have been anything, done anything. He was like a bright light that was extinguished." ~ Darla Barker, Cody's Mother
When Cody's death became public via media reports, the Shiocton School District Superintendent was quick to deny any and all possible rumors of bullying at Cody's school, going as far as issuing a blanket denial that any bullying had occurred at and that there were no indications that Cody had ever been bullied or felt threatened or unsafe.
“Right now everybody’s looking for someone to be the poster child for this issue. As soon as it was announced that this young man was gay and that he killed himself, everyone immediately started connecting dots that weren’t there.” ~ Superintendent Chris Vanderheyden
Cody's family do not agree with the Superintendent's statement and in hindsight, admit that there were troubling signs that Cody faced challenges at school and was not completely happy. Mrs. Barker witnessed one particular example of hostility towards Cody herself over the summer. She was sitting with some of Cody’s friends at the fire pit outside their home when a car stopped in front of the house and a kid yelled “queer” out the window.
There were other disturbing signs. Cody told his mother that he never went to the bathroom between classes, presumably out of fear. Mrs. Barker said name-calling and whispering about Cody were common in the halls at school. After his death, she learned that some students were following him at school and tearing down the posters he was putting up announcing the Gay/Straight Alliance.
We will never know the extent of the bullying that Cody endured at school each day, or what drove him to kill himself, but one thing is abundantly clear - Despite Superintendent Vanderheyden's denial of the fact, Cody was indeed harassed for being gay and for trying to make his school a safer place for LGBT students.
There were other disturbing signs. Cody told his mother that he never went to the bathroom between classes, presumably out of fear. Mrs. Barker said name-calling and whispering about Cody were common in the halls at school. After his death, she learned that some students were following him at school and tearing down the posters he was putting up announcing the Gay/Straight Alliance.
We will never know the extent of the bullying that Cody endured at school each day, or what drove him to kill himself, but one thing is abundantly clear - Despite Superintendent Vanderheyden's denial of the fact, Cody was indeed harassed for being gay and for trying to make his school a safer place for LGBT students.
“I honestly believe something happened to him that day,” Barker said. “If there was someone who said something to him, I hope they’re feeling the guilt over what happened. People have to realize what words can do to a person.” My son was an amazing person. he had so much talent. He was a friend to everyone, and he was always fighting for others who were in the minority or oppressed. Everyone has a right to be happy and no one has a right to judge. ~ Darla Barker, Cody's Mother
Cody is buried in a cemetery just down the road from the his family's farm. His Mom said she visits his grave site daily and leaves behind a red rose, his favorite flower.