Jadin Bell
Jadin Bell was just 15 years old when he decided to end his life after enduring homophobic bullying both at school and online. A popular student at La Grande High School, Jadin had lots of friends and was a member of his High school Cheerleader team. Often described as happy and outgoing with a smile and a kind word for everyone, people were left perplexed as to why such a well liked young man would want to end his life. It appears that Jadin's ever present smile was merely a smokescreen for the heartache and despair that consumed him so totally that he ultimately decided that death was preferable to the torment he was forced to endure on a daily basis from those who bullied him for being gay.
Jadin was the only openly gay Sophomore at La Grande High School in La Grande, Oregon. Although he did complain about being bullied, it is now painfully apparent that he kept the severity of it to himself. This is actually a very common practice among victims of bullying for a variety of reasons. The most common reason being fear of reprisal from the bullies if the victim reports them. We will never know why Jadin didn't feel able to confide fully in those who could have helped him. All we know is that he did tell his Father that he was having problems with bullies at school and on social media sites. Consequently, Mr. Bell made an appointment with the school counselor to discuss the issue. Officials at La Grande High School confirmed they were investigating the matter at the time of Jadin's death. The popular consensus was that Jadin was a fun loving, happy young man with many friends at school. He had an infectious smile and a jovial personality. He was caring, compassionate, supportive and loved life to the full. How then could anyone have known he was so unhappy or feeling suicidal? How could anyone have seen through the smile he wore like a mask each day to disguise the pain and turmoil that plagued him?
Jadin dreamed of being a cheerleader - a high energy, physically challenging sport and highly competitive. Male cheerleaders are not a novelty - in fact, many elite teams who compete in championships have a posse of male team members. Unfortunately, some people refuse to see cheerleading as anything other than a female "hobby" and judge any male wanting to partake in such activities as abnormal. Despite the small mindedness of some students, Jadin tried out for, and made the Cheerleading team in the first semester of his sophomore year - quite an achievement, the first boy to do so in the school's recent history. For Jadin it was a dream come true. It would soon become part of his ongoing nightmare. He was taunted for being gay. He was ridiculed for the way he looked and dressed. He was constantly tormented for being a cheerleader - Bullies hurled abuse at him during football games as he performed with the team and his family sat in the stands.
Jadin's sexuality had never been an issue for those closest to him. His family supported him completely when he told them he was gay. Likewise, most of his friends proved to be equally supportive. It was certainly the minority who bullied him. Teachers at La Grande claim he was almost always surrounded by a group of friends while at school, laughing, smiling, happy. They say he was a popular student with friends who would not stand by and watch him be bullied. There is no reason to dispute this claim, it does not however negate the psychological consequences that words can have on our mental well being. Most people will agree that it's far easier to remember an insult than a compliment - One bad experience can ruin an otherwise pleasant day. Unfortunately for Jadin, those bad experiences started building up until they threatened to consume him.
No one knows how long Jadin had been bullied before he confided in his family but he obviously reached a point in his life where he felt he could no longer cope and needed someone to intervene. Various bullying incidents connected to Jadin's cheerleading show that he was being ridiculed months before he actually brought the matter to the attention of his family.
In the days leading up to January 19th 2013, the day he attempted to end his life, Jadin's status updates on Twitter took a decidedly dark turn, offering a glimpse into his mindset and how unhappy he was at school. It's all too easy to think someone should have seen those warning signs and acted on them - Someone should have understood the situation for what is was - a desperate cry for help from a deeply troubled young man who was contemplating ending his life because he was being bullied for being gay. Unfortunately, life is seldom straight forward and everything appears much clearer in hindsight.
In the days leading up to January 19th 2013, the day he attempted to end his life, Jadin's status updates on Twitter took a decidedly dark turn, offering a glimpse into his mindset and how unhappy he was at school. It's all too easy to think someone should have seen those warning signs and acted on them - Someone should have understood the situation for what is was - a desperate cry for help from a deeply troubled young man who was contemplating ending his life because he was being bullied for being gay. Unfortunately, life is seldom straight forward and everything appears much clearer in hindsight.
"Surrounded by people who hate me, who want me dead. My soul is sinking, I need help."
Particularly haunting were some of the tweets he made on the day before he attempted to end his life. It breaks my heart to think of this gentle soul crying out for help - for that's what he was doing - One final attempt to grab the attention of someone, anyone, who could see the situation for what it was, to see beyond his smile and witness his turmoil, to understand just how awful he was feeling.
Sometimes, opening up to those closest to us is the most difficult thing in the world but his status updates on Twitter show that he was desperately trying to reach out, to have someone see his desperation, to understand how badly he was suffering.
Sometimes, opening up to those closest to us is the most difficult thing in the world but his status updates on Twitter show that he was desperately trying to reach out, to have someone see his desperation, to understand how badly he was suffering.
“I just want it to be over. It will be, soon enough. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I don’t. I can’t keep talking myself out of it.”
On January 19th, 2013, Jadin decided that enough was enough. He left his home with a firm plan - to end his life. Carrying a rope, he made his way towards his school, a place which he knew would be deserted on a weekend. Central Elementary School was close to La Grande High and had a playground complete with climbing frames and similar apparatus. It was here where Jadin hung himself.
Nine minutes went by before someone spotted him. The passer-by rushed to his assistance, released him from the noose, administered CPR and called the Emergency Services. Even though the rope had starved him of oxygen and caused irrevocable brain damage, paramedics were able to restore his heartbeat during the flight to Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland, where Jadin was put on a Life Support machine. Sadly, he failed to regain consciousness. In the days that followed Jadin's attempt to end his life, an outpouring of grief, support and disbelief swept through the community of La Grande in equal measure. As Jadin lay unresponsive in hospital, a Candlelight Vigil was held for him, attended by many of his school friends, who took strength from one another, sharing stories about him and affirming what each of them already knew - that Jadin was a wonderful young man.....
Nine minutes went by before someone spotted him. The passer-by rushed to his assistance, released him from the noose, administered CPR and called the Emergency Services. Even though the rope had starved him of oxygen and caused irrevocable brain damage, paramedics were able to restore his heartbeat during the flight to Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland, where Jadin was put on a Life Support machine. Sadly, he failed to regain consciousness. In the days that followed Jadin's attempt to end his life, an outpouring of grief, support and disbelief swept through the community of La Grande in equal measure. As Jadin lay unresponsive in hospital, a Candlelight Vigil was held for him, attended by many of his school friends, who took strength from one another, sharing stories about him and affirming what each of them already knew - that Jadin was a wonderful young man.....
"He is amazingly sensitive, if he saw a wounded butterfly [as a child] he wanted to heal it. He is an amazing young man who is smart and very social; he has a persona and a presence that you want to be a part of." ~ Jody Bullock , family friend.
"Jadin is one of the best people I have ever met. He makes everyone around him feel good all the time, someone who never forgets his friends. Jadin always remembers people no matter what, If I felt bad, I would hang out with him and he would say something small like, ‘I love your sweater.’ He notices things you didn’t think anyone notices." ~ Frankie Benitez , a friend of Jadin.
"Jadin always gives a compliment to everybody the first time he meets them. He always has a smile on his face. Cheerleading fits his outgoing, colorful personality. Cheerleading is his passion." ~ Candy Blackman, Mother of a La Grande High School student.
Medical staff at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital were unable to revive Jadin. Doctors informed his parents that recovery was unlikely. Consequently, on January 29th, 2013, exactly 10 days after he attempted to kill himself, Jadin's parents made the difficult decision to take him off Life Support. He passed away 5 days later on February 3rd.
Around 200 people attended a Memorial Service for Jadin in the days following his death. His father spoke of him proudly, stating that he loved his gay son, and accepted him for who he was. He announced the launch of a non-profit foundation to help combat bullying called “Faces for Change.”
In a separate Memorial Service held at the high school Jadin attended, close to 300 people, many of whom were La Grande High School students, remembered Jadin as a person who never missed an opportunity to extend a kind word to others. He was remembered for his ever-present smile, charming personality and ability to brighten the day of seemingly everyone he met.
In a separate Memorial Service held at the high school Jadin attended, close to 300 people, many of whom were La Grande High School students, remembered Jadin as a person who never missed an opportunity to extend a kind word to others. He was remembered for his ever-present smile, charming personality and ability to brighten the day of seemingly everyone he met.
"I don't want Jadin's death to be in vain, I want it to stand for something. I think we need to look at people for who they are and not who we think they should be." ~ Joe Bell, Jadin's Father, speaking at Jadin's Memorial Service.
"If someone was down and out Jadin would walk into a room and say a couple quick words and everybody would just forget about their problems and smile. He just had a gift. He walked into a room and filled it with fresh air. He had so much life, and he loved sharing it. He had the knack to say the right thing to pick up your spirits." ~ Bud Hill, family friend.